Yes, I am the same Marie Paul Jones as on Page 46!

IN HIS HEALING POWER

I had written some pretty dark stuff WELL I FINALLY FOUND THEM...I was just starting my therapy journey of HEALING I was ? yrs old ( oh gosh you do the math, I am 60yrs now) when this healing started and only now can I say IT IS FINISHED. As with many things it has to get messy before in can be put in order. I am not writeing them here for sympathy...I am writing them cause these things do REALLY happen...You will notice the dates on them and see how God use His gift of healing in my life and these are the very FIRST spurts of poetry I ever wrote in my life.

If this opens others up feel free to sumit some of your own. However, it is sooo much easier for me to submit in the U.K. cause I am a Canadian. I have FORGIVEN the people involved and they are dead now. They never asked my forgiveness or even admitted to what they had done. My childhood was stolen from me and I have many battle scars. The blood has finally stopped ghoshing out of my broken heart and I still remain broken hearted. Only God can give me the "...peace that passes ALL understanding.." I still marvel at His wonderful grace and mercy and praise as well give Him ALL THE GLORY for who i am today.

If just one persons heals from this posting the toxic shame & guilt will be worth while. "..if just one person is saved all the angels will sing.."...I sing for you my dear friend. Feel free to e mail me and what is written will remain confidental.

THANK YOU ABBA/DADDY FOR WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO THRU THIS POSTING, amen AMEN AMEN

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DECEMBER 5, 1992

CONFUSION

LORD, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I SEE THE PAIN YOU FELT FOR ME.
I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS.....UNANSWERED YOU SEE!!

WHEN AM I ALLOWED TO TALK? WHAT AM I PERMITTED TO SAY?
HOW COME THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I CAN'T EVEN PRAY?

WHO AM I? WHAT AM I? WHEN CAN I BE, WHAT YOU INTENDED ME TO BE?

WHAT IS LOVE? WHERE IS LOVE? HOW CAN I LOVE?
WHEN CAN I LOVE?
I'M SO CONFUSED, YOU SEE!
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WHAT IS LOVE? (ALLOWED TO FEEL AGAIN)

There I was, surrounded with all the comforts I would need; I had warmth for comfort, a chair to sit, light to read,
clothes on my back, coffee to drink, tissue to cry, sisters to care...a safe place where it is O.K. to grow and express pain, joy, cares and prayers.THIS IS LOVE!

Then a sister spoke about an answered prayer and shared about something dear to her heart that could only fe spoken in a safe place. Thank-you sister for being open because God through you answered my prayer too.
THAT'S LOVE!

Then a sister accidentally spilled her tea, they all clamoured to help except me. She said, "Look how they are all helping!" Guilt and shame hit me. Screaming inside: "There are six hands cleaning one mess, my hands will only be in the way. I DO CARE...." Then the little girl got up and served coffee to all...and the adult said it's O.K.
THIS IS LOVE

Finally I was able to share my feelings, the tears came, a sister passed the tissue. I wanted to say thank-you, (Thank-you sister) Then as I saw all four wipe their eyes, I knew.
I WAS LOVED!

It was time to go and as we left, yet another caring sister, who was unable to be with us, Passed a paper to help us understand the survivor, Thank-you sister. Thank-you Lord.
I DO FEEL LOVED!
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December 6, 1992

MISERY LOVES COMPANY (I am pain in this poem)

The phone it rang the other day and so PAIN came by to pick it up. She said, in her most timid little girl voice "hello".

"What's new?", came the bellowing voice who knew she had control and little did she expect; "My throat is sore, my car don't run, I kicked the dog but I'm...o.k.!"

"Yes, well I know what you mean I separated just last month and I'm going to make him pay. The janitor he's no good, everything he does is wrong. Well I've got to go, nice talking to you. Don't forget to call, remember just dial, MISERY."

The phone it rang the other day and HOPE briskly answered with her sunshine voice and said, "Hi there PAIN what's new? Isn't it a lovely day? Let us go take a walk and maybe we might even talk". PAIN said, " I never really did look out, but yes I guess it would do some good. I'd like to share and feel safe and not be victimized."

Now, PAIN has a brand new life and hanges out with FAITH, HOPE and CHARITY. They play, laugh, joke and even give a sigh. Sometimes they even cry but that's O.K. because it's only a rainy day. They often try to call MISERY seems they're not her cup of tea.

The moral of this story is, NEVER CO-DEPEND, BUT ALWAYS HAVE AN OPEN HEART TO SHARE WITH A FRIEND.
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December 8, 1992

BETRAYED

The raage was hidden for so long, abuse was a word never spoken in my house. When I decided to trust the only one I loved with a dirty secret of what my step-dad did to me.

She asked questions that only deepen the wounds, I had to describe every detail of this dirty secret. I only wanted protection so that it all would stop. I didn't hate nobody. Then now as I look back with the knowledge I've received, I wonder, did this help her or help me?

She said she'd tell nobody, but on our way home I noticed we went passed our bus stop. " Where are we going Mommy?" Then she said, "You'll see." Next thing I found myself all by myself in a small, cold room, with no clothes on, waiting for a doctor to examin me. I really didn't like it but Mommy brought me there, so I guessed it was supposed to be. Afterall daddy taught me these horrible things and he told me it was his duty because he loved me. I had to be prepared when other men would come after me.

Then my Asthma came along. I had to see the doctor everyday. I would wait for hours shaking in my sit. People who came after me left before me. I was scared of him. He put me in the cold room again, then I shook even more, minutes seemed like hours then he would open up the door. It turned out he was the second man afterme. Wher do I go, what do I say, "OH, GOD PLEASE HELP ME!"

Where was the look? Where was the hug? Where was, "It will be o.k.? I'll take care of you and love you anyway!"
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WARRING & WRESTLINGINTERCESSOR CLARICE RICHARDSON June 12, 2009 at 11:04am

) I put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; and I put on love, the bond of perfection.
2) I welcome the peace of God to rule my heart.
3) I allow the Word of God to dwell in my heart richly in all wisdom,
teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing with grace in my heart to the Lord.
4) Whatever I do, I do in word and in deed in the name of Jesus, giving
thanks to God the Father through Him.
5) I put on Christ because I have been baptized in Him. I put on the Lord Jesus as a garment.
6) I put on the breastplate of faith and love.
7) I put on zeal.
8) I put on mercy and truth around my neck.
9) I put on the armor of light.
10) I place on myself the mind of Christ. I let this mind (the mind of
Christ) be in me.
11) I meditate on your word day and night. You are faithful to perform
your word. You will bring it to completion. You are faithful to
complete the work you have begun in me and my life.
12) Let the meditation of my heart and the words of my mouth be pleasing
unto you O Lord. I will open my mouth and you will fill it.
13) I place a guard on my mouth. I commit my mouth to you Lord that I
may not sin against you.
14) You Lord are seated high above all authority, power, dominion and
might. Nothing is too difficult for you.
15) I place the armor of righteousness on my right and left hands.
16) I put on strength. I clothe myself with strength for the battle. You are
looking for a pure heart whose heart you can strengthen.
17) I thank you for a shield of favor about me.
18) I plead the blood over my body, mind, will, soul, and emotions.
I repent of all sins. I will not fear the arrow by day or the terror by
night.
19) I put on the garment of salvation. We are clothed with salvation.
20) I put on the helmet of hope.
21) I put on the robe of righteousness.
22) I put on the blue ephod.
23) I ask for the fear of the Lord which is the beginning of wisdom.
24) I ask for the spirit of wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and
revelation.
25) I am anointed, appointed, called, marked, chosen, beloved, accepted,
and not rejected in Jesus’ name.
26) I put on as a helmet the hope of salvation.
27) Help me Lord to be sober and vigilant; watchful in the spirit; and aware of the enemy, the devil. Wake me up spiritually.
28) I rule and reign with Christ Jesus.
29) Lord, you cover my head; you have covered my head in the day of battle.
30) The word is our shield and buckler.
31) I loose myself from the bonds of my neck. I tie down my enemies in the spirit realm. I reverse the words of those who curse me, send evil against me, and send evil against the work of the Lord. I send all evil back to them 7 times in the name of Jesus. May they be brought to their knees by the Lord Jesus to repentance that they may be saved, healed, filled, and delivered in Jesus’ mighty name. I reverse every assignment, trap, snare, wile, and evil plan or attack against me from Satan and his angels, demons, imps, principalities, rulers of the darkness, powers, spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places, or spirits of any kind. I silence them and their words or curses. I clothe them with confusion as with a mantle. I cancel all assignments against me. I make all word curses null and void.
32) I ask the Lord to send legions of angels to minister to me, protect me, battle for me, minister healing and restoration, and to surround me in the name of Jesus.
33) I love, bless, and forgive those who persecute me and say all manner of evil against me for the sake of your righteousness.
34) Help me Lord to be strong in the Lord and in His power, exercise the authority over the devil which you have given me, stand against the devil, wrestle and warfare, put on my armor daily, pray without ceasing, intercede, and fight the good fight of faith. Amen
Tags: armour, fight, forgive, intercede, wrestle

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July 15,2009

CHOOSE

I choose life
I will not stay stagnet anymore
It is not His will
That all that come near me die

I choose life
To bath in the sun
bask on the rocks
Smelling the sweet sweet green

I choose life
Not to stand still
As I run down each rock
You can almost hear me talk

I choose life
There is more then just me
You can hear the chitter chatter
As we play by the rocks

He gave me life
He gave you life
The sun shall go down
But the dark can never blot out life

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Done July 7,2009 and opened a new dicussion in POETRY section

LORD WE ARE YOUR PEOPLE

Lord we are Your people
we come empty, naked and worn.
We need you second to second, minute to
minute take us mold us to your will.

Lord we are Your people
for only You do we stand still, weeping and wailing.
We want only You, so take us and make us to cry
out for You and call out to others who need You too.

Lord we are Your people
if only they knew how much You have done for us.
Let us be the light house that beams Your light
across and let them feel a warmth that is true.

Lord we are Your people
help us not to stand still cause I hear the trumpet.
It is warning and calling all that will hear, the
time is at hand now let My call now be clear.

Lord we are Your people
let us never waver it seem so close and yet far away.
You remind us who's King, Lord of this fair land
and let never forget to keep the oil in the lamp.
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Done July 4, 2009 and placed in POETRY - Poems for the enemy

THE TIME IS SHORT
His time is short he knows full well
and all he want is power.
He lies thru his teeth oh what a creep,
make me sick yet I see who he plans to devour.

Deceit is the game no matter who's slain,
the power of will is the problem.
God sent us His Son to win over this crumb,
there is no game for the lamb that was slain.

It's just a matter of time, that the people shall see
the goats and the lamb all divided.
Then the Groom shall come and take up His bride
the music shall play and they'll dance all the days.

The wine shall be sweet and oh what a treat,
the bride shall be pure and unwavering.
Her gown is so white and glitters delight,
while her eyes stay on the King who is savioring.

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Reply by Marie Paul Jones on 27 June 2009 on "POETRY"=S.O.S.

S.O.S.

The pain is so deep you see I can't take another breath,
it feels like someone is cutting my heart with razor blades,
I want it to go away
I thought I was done, with all this mess!

The blood is flowing on the floor
I grow weaker by the moment,then see Jesus at the door,
His eyes are like the ocean..blue as blue as they can be.
I feel His love flow thru me as He look down at me!

I feel the radiance of His beauty
while He walks to stand by me,
His white robe flows softly on the floor.
Oh what pure serenity!

The warmth begins to tingle
His image comforts me,
He bends down to pick me up,
I feel the tear drops from His eyes!

Oh my child, it is for you I died!

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This was a title give for a contest, we were challenged to write, draw or do a poem
I have a art piece to go with this poem. It was from Lakeshore General Hospital for Mental Health.

May 4, 2001 Marie Paul Jones

EMERGING INTO LIGHT

Weighed down by heaviness that even I could not fully comprehend,
pondering in the depths of my soul, what's next.
Never dreaming that black could get so dark.
My whole being cries out, "Can anybody hear me?"
I felt like I was screaming out to what seemed to be oblivion,
the echoes of my words boomeranged back..
Causing me only to run and crawl into a deep dark hole
knowing full well that, "This too shall pass....".

Promises were not enough, I needed something stronger to purge me from
these obnoxious, lingering toxic fumes which surrounded my very being.
My mind saw my heart bleeding amidst the struggles of life.
Oh, how I longed to be loved for who I am.n the deep dark cool of the ni

Passiveness, no longer working,
serves as a free ticket to those who need to have complete control in their lives.
Enabling the controllers to keep on running their small little world.
Realizing I am an adult blessed with more than I allowed myself to see.
The light ever so subtly dances into my heart as the moon shines
upon the dark waters of my life.

Waves splashing against the small boat as she steers towards
the light during a horrific storm.
With the engine no longer working, I am forced to paddle for my life..
It seems that just yesterday I was fishing near the river shore,
where peace and serenity seemed to be Omnipresent forever more.
The water crashed with a lick of rage against the oars,
reminding me I needed something to guide me to the shore.

My vision, dampened by the fog, I tried valiantly to find the light.
Then I realized that the stress was not the storm.
It was the confusion that had kept me from the light.
I choose to keep my focus to the job I had at hand.
Breathing deeply to a rhythm just right for me,
Allowing my oars to reach beyounc what I could see.
My muscles tightened and waned in plight of wanting to give up
in the deep dark cool of the night.

Encouragement came dancing to a rhythm of its own, across the murky waters bring me home.
I thank God for giving me that person in the lighthouse whom chose to guide me home.

I also have a piece of art to go with this poem..I shall post it soon.

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This was an art challange given by my home church (20yrs) to be displayed Easter weekend of 2005. God gave me all the advise each step of the way. I had set my dinning room up like an atalier for two months. In hine site I think it was my healing form the 911 in New York. Its is here at www.bethelcommunity.ca---then you see that we are in Pointe Claire--then you go to cybergallery---and see Expressions of faith...on thumb nail #4 is my first master piece....I had no lessons or experience in this media...it was so large when I moved and sized down from 1 bedroom to a studio I was forced to throw it out. We have many professional artist at our church...one told me that working with this media is very hard and there are not many that can do this....All I wanted to do lol was to get rid of my stale 5grain 5 River Cereal..It is so neat how God work in my life....

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE by Marie Jones

Triptych - Mixed media

(These are my own words that were displayed with the Triptych and the Holy Bible..the three pieces were taped toghther and stood on a red table clothe represent the blood of Christ...I did not realize till if finished art piece the it was my life story plus a Prophet message of the time to come...It just floored me.

This is a testimony of Marie's walk as a born again Christian and how God has transformed and continues to heal her life-long battle with depression and many losses. Scriptures are depicted throughout the triptych. There are many faces framing each panel… An actor, a murder victim, a wanted criminal, a sexual offender, a recovering alcoholic/street person and many different nationalities, showing that Christ died for us all. The bumpy road represents that living a Christian life is NOT always smooth. This is Marie's first formal work of art. She loves to use many mediums as a reflection of her passion for truth, life and nature.

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE

First of all you may notice all panels have a painted frame, then inside that are peoples faces which are surrounded with flax seed. Also the sky blends into each panel however the last panel has a dove flying out the picture on far left side and I only noticed after it was done that the girls picture was one that was in Sunday School nursery with my eldest and she was brutally murdered by her husband..
You will notice a road in all three panels they were made with red river cereal and along the sides of all the roads are green lentils representing small pebbles. The top always represents the future in middle and right end panels. (was not planned this way, it was God thru me)

Panel I

You will see a door (middle eastern style round top) brown wood with no handle but thru the handle you see God's light shineing thru and over the path. There is a crown of thorns dripping with the blood of Jesus over the top left side of the door....and Jesus blood finger print by the handle as he went on the other side of this door..He is the light and the way I am now on the light side...the black background represents my sins.

Panel II

You see how two road meet into one. The left side middle is the dry, dessert type of land....rough tough dry spells in my Christian walk with much doubt,torrment represented by two shades of sand...brickly cactus (yet they still flower dispite) the burning bush is there representing Gods anger at those who cast stones and worship their gods...then just in the center under where the road meets there is a girl/me with a box of tissue crying my heart out and all around me is lush green pasture with lots of blooming mustard seed flowers, (I used real mustard seed glued in the center of each flower) as His Word says..."...if I have faith as small as a mustard seed....." now on the right hand side of this panel is also lush green meadow and you may notice a full grown tulip..before this you see it grow slowly...causes it is in good soil represented using coffee grinds...you see bushes with bright colours...sting bumble bee and butterfly...life still stings even if there are no dry moments. then you will see the path meet into one and get more narrow..this shows how hard it is to keep the faith till the end days...up in the sky is a three cord rope holding torn cheesecloth..this is to represent the three in one cord and the veil which tore when Christ died on that cross..(I used strong tea to colour the cord and veil) hanging inbetween the two sides is a long thread with a needle...representing it is easyier for a camel to get thru the eye of a needle then it is for a rich man to see God...the picture small as it is is what I see heaven..river of life all around...roads of gold and the tree of life...bareing many fruits...

Panel III

You see sandy shore line..on the shore line you see a ice cube( I had been stuck in a see thru cube for decades and not allowed to speak or think) melting ( represents the healing by my prayers and many) and in the cube is a pearl/me finally in the eyes of God cultured and soon to be sweeped into the river of life where I believe that when God bottled my tears he also had bottled His tears and now He broke all the tear and poured them into the river of life.
Now you see the thrown of God and all the gems and dotted with tiny pearls..at the foot of the thrown are the crowns of each of the twelve tribes and you also see the purple drape behind representing Christ royalty at the right hand of His Father/Abba/Daddy.