Remembrance

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Permalink Reply by Kevin on October 28, 2009 at 6:28am

"Oh Lord, why did I have to die?" Harry murmured as he lay there, teeth gritted, right fist clenched as tightly as it would go. He wiped the blood off his left hand before fumbling in his breast pocket for the small, crumpled photograph of Doris. He held it in front of his face in the darkness so it was almost touching the end of his nose, and stared into it. "Let her know that I loved her, and look after her and let her find happiness again."

He stopped there to grimace as another sharp burst of pain speared its way through the body. a silent tear streamed down the cheek, mingling with the cold sweat clinging onto the skin. He tried to not think about the absurdity of it all, although it was impossible not to. Two years ago he had married his sweetheart and had just taken over running the family butchers shop. Two minutes ago he still had everything to live for. Yet now here he was, lying stranded in the middle of a muddy foreign field, his life draining helplessly away. How fickle it was that time treated all the good times to seem as though they had passed in no more than a blink of an eye, but now he lay here hopelessly time was teasing him once more, dragging its heels, extending the suffering.

Once more the pain exploded through the body, and by now the tears were flowing continually down his face and behind the ears until they reached the back of the neck. He desperately tried to stay resolute and hold back the sobbing, but it was of little use. "I can't let Doris see me like this," he told himself sternly, as though the photograph was a two-way mirror. He took a deep breath and sniffed the tears back before unclenching his right hand to wipe away the tears.

"I love you," Harry said with the edge of his mouth curling into a gentle smile. "I'm sorry." He gently stroked the face of the picture before carefully placing it into the palm of his right hand, where once more he clenched it tightly and returned it to the ground next to him. All that was left to do now was wait. He stared into the sky and watched the black clouds move slowly across the black sky. He felt his breathing quicken, yet become more shallow. Somehow the pain of his injury was being eased. This was it. He closed his eyes and in his mind started to pray.

"Father, forgive my sins, and I beg of you to take me now and end my suffering. Forgive me, as I could have done more.... Please Lord, look after my wife and family and comfort them.... Oh Lord.... Lord...."

Harry never got to finish his prayer.

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Permalink Reply by Sheila Johnson on October 29, 2009 at 4:31pm

This is full of strong feelings and deep meaning but I would like to know a little more of the context and background of where Harry is and how he got there. I think this is important to the reader. But a strong piece reminscent to me of part of 'Birdsong' by Sebstian Faulks, one of the most poignant books on war that I have ever read.

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Permalink Reply by Kevin on October 29, 2009 at 7:01pm

Thank you for the feedback. Admittedly, whilst I did not mention it (partly because I knew in my mind what it was - my fault for not mentioning it more clearly) it is inferred to be WWI, and yes I should have got a more direct reference in. I hadn't even realised until now how ambiguous I had made it...

As for how he got there (in this case no man's land) and the nature of his injury I actually tried to work out if I really wanted to mention how and what they were. The reason I omitted any reference to them was ultimately I felt at the time that it did not matter to Harry why he was there nor what the injury was, the only thing that he would have really thought about was his impending death and what he was leaving. I also thought that it may have diluted the power of the story, with one of my aspects of trying to make it as impersonal as possible to try and increase the "randomness" of the event to suggest that this may have been going on anywhere to anyone. This is one of the reasons whilst I tried to keep using "he" rather than "Harry" in the passage. Of course this style is admittedly dangerous - whilst not wanting to get too personal into the ins and outs of his experiences I realise that there has to be something for the reader to be able to link into so they can understand and feel for the character. I guess I almost pulled it off, but as you said there were probably a couple of bits missing. In hindsight I could have been able to mention the nature of his wound without describing it too much (a stomach/lower chest injury), thus keeping the focus on his torment, plus a more direct reference to the war would in one swoop explain where he was and what he was doing - even if I do not give an exact reason why he went over the top - whether on a mission or on a "push".

Thank you again for your advice and pointers, it is appreciated to know how it comes across to others as one of my weaknesses is portraying the whole story (basically I can see it myself, but occasionally can miss out something without realising it). Ah, it is the same with life.... the autistic thought of "I know what I mean, so everyone else must know". Classic Theory of Mind stuff.

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Permalink Reply by Janice Moorcroft on November 4, 2009 at 10:30pm

Kevin that is a beautiful well written story.

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Permalink Reply by Anne Linington on October 28, 2009 at 12:05pm

For all the saints- Intercessions for all saints/ all souls days

For all the saints who from their labours rest

For those we read about in the Old and New Testaments:

The Patriarchs, Judges and Kings
Psalmists and Prophets
For the apostles, those who witnessed Christ's life, death and resurrection

Lord we thank you for their faith in you..encourage us in ours... Silence


You were their rock, their fortress and their might

We thank you for strength which endured through testing and trial
And we thank you that despite their particular weaknesses you used them

Aware of our own weaknesses Lord, give us strength to endure... Silence

O may your soldiers, faithful, true and bold... fight..
and win the victor's crown of gold

For everyone who has served you in the fight against evil throughout history
For those who by their words and actions brought change in their generation..
We rejoice that they are found in your presence where their service is rewarded.

We thank you that this great crowd of witnesses cheers us on in our own time
So that we like them may fight the good fight, may finish our particular race
and receive a crown..... Silence

O blest communion, fellowship divine

We acknowledge that when we come together to praise you
we add our act of worship to that which is already going on in Heaven.

Help us to be conscious that we are part of a worldwide communion
spanning every barrier- of gender, race, age and ability.
We pray for Hope Newport, that during this mission people will be added to your kingdom...
Silence

And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long

We pray for those members of Christ's body who experience persecution
For those who suffer hunger and homelessness
For those who are refugees, without land or status

And we ask for your help where we fight against apathy and indifference to you.. Silence


The golden evening brightens in the west..
soon to faithful warriors comes their rest

We pray for all those known to us who have entered into your perfect rest.........Silence

We ask for those agencies who minister to the dying and their families:
The Hospice... Marie Curie... Cruise and all similar agencies

We ask for clergy and chaplains and all who provide support at times of loss.

But lo there breaks a yet more glorious day

Heavenly Father
Help us to keep in mind that this life is just the beginning

That our love and service is only a preparation for all that is to come.

That nothing- not even death itself can separate us from your love shown
to us in Christ Jesus... Silence

From earth's wide bounds, from ocean's furthest coast

We look forward to that day when people from every tribe and tongue
people and nation
join with the angels of Heaven
in praise of the Lamb who was slain...

through gates of pearl, streams in the countless host
Singing to Father, Son and Holy Ghost

Alleluia!

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Permalink Reply by Anne Linington on October 29, 2009 at 8:27am

Thanks Nick for the above. Unfortunately the formatting has been somewhat lost- all the words from the hymn "For all the saints" should be in itallics. As the hymn finishes with Alleluia (in fact two of them) that's how I concluded this piece. However I take your point about not necessarily finishing on an upbeat note- though I did want to do so here. These were used in 2008, and I have written another set based on John 14 as I happen to be leading the intercessions again on All saints day, November 1st.

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Permalink Reply by Sheila Johnson on October 29, 2009 at 4:26pm

This is really great Anne, a breakdown of one of my favourite hymns, section by section. What a hymn! Full of tremendous depth and meaning connecting us with all the generation of Christians in the past and the future. Many modern choruses would struggle to encaptulate so much in such a few short verses.

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Permalink Reply by diana kay on October 29, 2009 at 10:59pm

Remembering

Sunday Sept 20th 2009

Tomorrow is going to be well good! I’m going abroad!
Well actually it is a school history trip and we’re only going to France not Ibiza or anything but it should be well cool. Anyway it beats spending four days at school.
I’m just downloading some songs for my iPod atm as I think the journey is going to be well boring SEVEN hours on a coach boring or what?
We have to be at school at 5am tomorrow and we are traveling through the channel tunnel to somewhere called the Somme or something random like that.
We are visiting the battlefields of World War 1 , don’t know much about them but it’ll help us with course work and enable us to gain an understanding of the context and environment in which the conflict was set’
Well at least that’s what our history teacher Mr Mullins wrote in the letter home.
I hope there is not too much wading around in trenches as I have just bought some new Ugg boots and I don’t want to get them all messy. Better go to bed now, hopefully will get some sleep on the coach.

Monday Sept 21st 2009

Well it’s 10am and I’m on the coach, we are in France now but tbh it looks much the same as England just different colour road signs and some good sculptures on the bridges over the motorway.
Mr Mullins says we are due at the Youth Hostel around 1pm. I did manage to sleep a bit but now I am well bored so I am going to try and read a bit of a book Nan gave me. It’s apparently about some random soldier who wrote a diary and letters from the Front. Nan reckons it will help me understand more about what war was really like.
Nan is lovely. I hope she has remembered to record Eastenders for me. I am going to be back in time to watch Xfactor on Saturday.

Monday Sept 21st 8pm

We are at the Youth hostel. I’ve got a room with Sophie, Mollie and Sarah. It’s got bunk beds! I feel like a little kid again, Bunk Beds or what! LOL.
That book is quite interesting actually. The guy who wrote is was called Walter Smith and he was 18 like my brother Carl and what is even more weird is that he had a sister called Mabel who was 15 like me! There are letters in the book that Walter wrote to his mum and dad and his sister Mabel. It is weird to think of someone like Carl going to war like and Carl would defo not write a letter and certainly not to me. Walter did seem to really like his little sis.
Walter was sent to this Somme place so it’s quite good really. We are going to some random museum tomorrow and on a field trip. No trenches apparently YAY!

Tuesday Sept 22nd 8pm

I’m well tired. We had a busy day. It was more interesting than I thought it would be. I took the book and tried to imagine how it would have been for Walter.
Mr Mullins saw me reading the book and was well impressed when I told him about it. The Chavs all groaned. It is well not cool to be reading history books but this book is kinda just like a diary. It must have been so hard for Mabel; there were no mobiles or text messages or anything.
I’m going to read a bit more before bed.

Tuesday Sept 22nd 10.30pm
OMG! This is SO SAD!! I can’t believe it. Walter is dead! He wrote a letter to Mabel on the eve of the battle of Pilckem Ridge on July 31st 1917.
At the end of the book there is an account of what happened to his company and there is a letter his Commander wrote to Mabel and her family. I am going to show Mr Mullins tomorrow. I just can’t believe he actually died.  

Wednesday Sept 23rd 11am

We are on the coach to visit a war cemetery. Mr Mullins read out some passages from the book to the rest of the e year 11s and most of them were well quiet. I think it made this whole war thing a bit more real for everyone.
Mr Mullins reckons we may be able to find Walters’s actual memorial stone in this cemetery as the War Graves commission keep records of something.

Wednesday Sept 23rd 8.30pm

We found Walters stone! The guy looked it up in the register and there was a number and letter for the row and he marked it on the map with a little X!
The cemetery was HUGE with rows and rows of white headstones, all in real neat lines not at all like the cemetery in Epsom which is all higgledy piggledy random shapes and sizes with hearts and teddy bears and that. This seemed so stark and bleak and tidy .I got my photo taken next to Walters headstone and I got some close-ups too .Nan will be well chuffed.
As we all stood there Mr Mullins read some more extracts from the book and we had a moment’s silence, even the Chavs shut up for once.
I felt really sad. It was as if I knew him. I suppose I did kind of, reading his story and all that.

Thursday September 24th 10pm

Home again! It was well good to see Mum and dad and Nan. I had missed them even though it was only 4 days!
School tomorrow sigh!
I tried to tell Carl about the book but he just said “Whatever” and went back to the playstation. I suppose you have to be there to understand really.
I watched the News, well I was trying to catch up on Eastenders and it came on like. More soldiers killed in Afghanistan. They showed their pictures on the TV. Well sad.

Wednesday 11th November 2009 10pm

Today after school I decided to go to the war memorial in the park. Walter was still on my mind. I took some red poppies out of some field and put them on the war memorial along with a little letter I had written. It weren’t long but I don’t really do letters like. I just wanted to thank Walter for making it all real for me. I think I am going to get a well good mark in my coursework, at least I hope so.
Went to MacDonald’s after to meet up with my mates.

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Permalink Reply by Chaz on October 30, 2009 at 10:21pm

Diana
Brilliantly written and beautifully told - I love it. Thank you. :o)

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Permalink Reply by diana kay on November 1, 2009 at 3:58pm

thanks chaz!

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Permalink Reply by Janice Moorcroft on November 4, 2009 at 10:34pm

I loved it Diana....you're really still a teenager...come on confess!!

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Permalink Reply by diana kay on November 5, 2009 at 10:24am

no just close observation of my 15yr old daughter and her friends!!!!

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