LONELINESS: Do you feel welcomed at church?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dr. Derek P. Blake on August 30, 2008 at 10:04pm

The Church should be inclusive but everything depends upon the objectives of the Church they attend. It is a sad fact that often there are other priorities besides that of spreading the ‘word’, building up numbers, generating an income, keeping the fellowship comfortable, etc. The location and membership of the Church also has an effect, affluent Churches can be very intimidating to someone who is poor and though I hesitate to say it, ethnic churches can be guilty of the same thing. There are churches that are ’no-go zones’ for outsiders, run by three or four families to the exclusion of everyone else.

Back in the Eighties we had Mission England, every city and town in the country was involved in getting the word out through local missions, and great meetings that filled football stadia. Billy Graham provided messages that touched so many people, young and old; George Hamilton among others, provided worship music (such as it was back then) and thousands made a commitment. After making a commitment those thousands of new proto-Christians headed to their local churches. After a two year build up with local meetings and missions, town wide celebrations and committees being set up, were the churches ready for the influx? No they weren’t! New people were looked upon with suspicion, herded to the front pews or chairs and served up with a hymn sandwich of dull, dreary hymns, prayers read from a book and a truly boring analytical sermon. They left disappointed and never came back.

Jesus said we were to be a family accepting everyone as brothers and sisters, looking after the widows, visiting the sick and prisoners, etc. It’s the relationships that matter, our relationship with God and our relationship with others, our relationship with the Father being reflected in our relationship with others. That means making people feel like they belong and needed. How to achieve this though. Most churches don’t have a clue about inspiring their congregation, although pastors are trained to preach, pray and teach, there are few who have any training in how to keep a fellowship together and share the vision. Many are just plain bad organisers and few are actually ‘people persons’. How many pastors take the time to actually get to know their parishioners or are trained in any sort of counselling to enable them to resolve problems between their flock? How many can recognise and utilise the gifts of the people that join the church? Too many pastors are in the job because of career opportunities rather that a true calling. Until we train pastors to be real leaders that are prepared to serve we will continue to produce Churches that are hard to join.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Maria Toth on August 30, 2008 at 10:10pm

Thank you Derek. You remind me that the church scene in the UK is diverse and every church will place emphasis upon different aspects of the Gospel and church life. You also remind me of the need for us to 'scale the fish' we catch and to have the structures and people to do that. It is one thing to evangelise but we need to follow that with discipleship and fellowhip.

Every blessing

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kim on August 30, 2008 at 10:34pm

i always have felt welcome in my church,i loved it there, but last aug i went to visit frinds away and became poorly, so was away for ages, on returning home i suffererd depression and health problems so i did not attend, i have been to there a couple of times,and was welcomed.. but it is a year now and i feel forgotten, allthough i know the love is in the chuch only one member continues to phone and visit, would it not be to much for the church to take the love of jesus out to the people. instead of when they show for services?

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Dr. Derek P. Blake on August 31, 2008 at 12:01am

I feel that much of these problems are caused by poor communication in the Church, particularly if it is a large fellowship. The pastor can’t keep up with who’s doing what or who’s ill or feeling neglected and needs a team around him or her who are effective communicators, sadly few are. The church elders are usually well meaning armatures that have been given no training to do the job they do. Last year my wife underwent major surgery, although she was visited by our Home Group leaders no one else including the pastor bothered to visit. She was very upset as the Pastor lived just down the road from the hospital, we were away from Sunday services for around a month and when we returned no one (except for the people in the house group) knew she had had an operation or been in hospital or even been absent. Was it it pastor at fault or was it the elders lack of communication, the sad fact is that whatever the reason is says “We don’t care’.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kim on August 31, 2008 at 11:44am

your view is a sad fact, that this is a common problem,one that i hear quite a lot, especially in community churches, where as you so rightly say are run by untrained pastors,however the church i attend when i feel able, is neither a large congregation, or untrained church, there is a team of deacons to assist the minister, one solely for pastoral care. i think they are so preoccupied with claiming people for christ they simply forget to nurture them when they accept christ's forgiveness. i feel this is just as important to maintain a living church as to outreach Gods word.
Maybe we expect too much in the way of home visits, as there seems to be more fallen than attending, so maybe there is not the time to visit everyone, but in this day of advanced communication, surely a phone call would be nice?

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by first steps on August 31, 2008 at 12:47pm

This is a really good point. I've just been reading a book called 'prayer that works' concetrating on the prophet Elijah. It spoke about his time with the widow and showed how he had stayed there with her prior to her son falling in and obviously preached about the one true god. When her son became ill he was able to pray in faith for her son to be raised from the dead, the point of her conversion. then he stayed with her for something like three years afterwards. the writer talks about this being the period were he cements God's work.

we do focus on spreading the gospel, whereas in our own lives we fall, get back up and have to learn more each day. my developing as a christian through God's instruction is steady. st paul talks about starting on psiritual milk and then moving on, like a baby being weaned. this means we have to ensure that we fight for those that fall away, but also in your case Kim, those who are ill. when our bodies are weak like this so are our spirits. it's necessary we ensure that we protect people in our church at times like this.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kim on August 31, 2008 at 2:44pm

i think this should be preached in all churches, laying foundations of Gods love firmly in new christians heart giving them a strong faith to walk those long lonely roads we have to walk sometimes,

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by steve cattell on September 18, 2008 at 7:52pm

i had all that nonsence about being a baby and needing milk.in my church.i told them all.god has me on the fast train.the work begins now.for some they need to take it one dat at a time and grow.and then many have grown quicker then 90.per.cent of the church in a few weeks.that is god puting them were he wants NOW.not when the church want.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Maria Toth on August 31, 2008 at 11:46am

Sorry to hear that you feel forgotten, Kim. As i said originally i believe more and more believers, particularly those with health problems which prevent them from getting to church, are finding fellowship online at sites such as this one. God hold you tight! :-)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kim on August 31, 2008 at 2:46pm

thank you maria, premier radio has got me through some tough times, and i thank God for those who commit themselves to this work, keep up the good work, many blessings, Kim

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by steve cattell on August 31, 2008 at 1:58pm

What.your find is many .are leaving the church.its to clicky.if your face fits great.if not then its a lonley place.the baptist times did a centre page on my church life.steve cattell as been a born again .for 18 mths.and in that time not one christian as invited him to there home for a meal or a cup of tea.i should have walked out and gone back to a life of crime.but god had other plans.he put his arms round me and told me to take this and .he will open thedoors for me to tell my story.and true to gods word i have all over the uk.even sept direction elim address it.and in my book i talk of the pain the tears the rejection.but its called relegion and that got christ put to the cross.they new what they were doing.sadley these christians living in relegion.dont no they are pushing people back to the evil life they came from.if onley they stopped hiding from the truth.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kim on August 31, 2008 at 2:50pm

as i replied to one of the other posts, i feel that new Christians be nurtured and given firm foundations before being left to their own devices, but maybe we are being taught, as you say to share with others how God hasn't actually abandoned us, many blessings, Kim

▶ Reply to This

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• …
• 6
• Next ›
• Page